


Fit for Purpose.

by BarPurple



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Baby sitting, Fluff, Gen, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, mentions of baby poo, nothing graphic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-06
Updated: 2014-05-06
Packaged: 2018-01-23 20:24:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1578371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BarPurple/pseuds/BarPurple
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>How hard can it be to change a baby?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fit for Purpose.

"Mina. Was that really necessary?"

The six month old baby Watson gurgled at Sherlock and tried to grab hold of her foot. Sherlock was very firm that she wasn't going to succeed.

"I have to clean your foot Mina. I don't know why you're laughing at me; I'm not the one with poo in between my toes."

John and Mary had warned him that Mina wriggled a lot during nappy changes now she was older, but he hadn't believed that it would cause this much of a problem. Changing a nappy shouldn't take more than one person, but right now Sherlock felt he didn't have enough hands to get the job done.

He managed to get the used nappy out from under the baby, while holding her dirty foot away from her determined hands. The next challenge was getting the tub of wipes open. The cheery ‘Push Here’ tab refused to fulfil its role in this operation. With an angry growl, that caused Mina to giggle, Sherlock grabbed the tub and banged it against the edge of the coffee table.

“Ang! Ang!”

“Yes Mina. Bang! Bang! That’s what we do to poorly designed containers.”

The tub’s lid popped open and spewed out baby wipes. Sherlock tried to grab one, but ended up with a long string. An observer better versed in the ways of the world than Mina Watson might have compared this spectacle to the traditional magic trick known as Flags of All Nations.

Sherlock gave up trying to separate the wipes and simply used the handful he had to carefully clean between Mina’s toes. 

“Now you have nice clean little toes. Isn’t that better?”

Now he could let go of her foot, Sherlock managed to split the used wipes from the clean ones. Another handful of wipes and he could honestly say;

“Nice clean bum as well. Ready for a fresh nappy?”

John had left him a new pack of nappies and this proved to be the next challenge in this simple process. The ‘Tear Here’ perforations were obviously in cahoots with the ‘Press Here’ tab. While struggling with the packaging Sherlock took his eyes off Mina. The young Watson took the opportunity to roll on to her stomach and began wriggling away.

“Mina! You are vital to this procedure.”

Sherlock managed to carefully flip Mina on to her back again. She gave him a frown and batted at his hands.

“I understand care of your transport is tedious, but your Mother may shoot me again if I fail in this duty to you. You don’t want Mummy to get mad at me do you? No, you don’t. Right you hold the pack and I’ll open it.”

Sherlock delicately placed the pack of nappies on Mina’s belly. This at least kept her in place while he tore into the stubborn packaging. The first nappy he freed was thrown over his shoulder as he’d managed to shred it. 

“Success! Right let’s get you into this thing. You know it would be a lot easier if you considered potty training as soon as possible.”

“Poa!”

Sherlock was chewing his lip as he went through the motions Mary had drilled into him  
.   
“Take ankles in one hand. Lift baby. Place unfolded nappy under bottom. Legs down. Front of nappy into position. Pull tag… oh bugger!”

Sherlock looked at the nappy tag in his hand; unfortunately it was no longer attached to the nappy.

“Bug. Bug?”

“Please don’t repeat that to your parents.”

Taking another nappy Sherlock started the process again.

“Bloody Hell!”

“Ell?”

A second ripped nappy was thrown over Sherlock’s shoulder. Mina took the chance to chew thoughtfully on her toes while she watched her responsible adult get increasingly annoyed with her nappies.

A few hours later John and Mary let themselves into 221B Baker Street. The sight that greeted them was both endearing and puzzling. Sherlock was stretched out on the sofa with his arms protectively curled around the sleeping baby Mina. A snuffling snore from Sherlock confirmed that he was asleep as well. Mary quickly and quietly snapped a few pictures on her phone, before tenderly covering the sleeping pair with a blanket.

John’s attention was drawn away from this image of cuteness to the pile of unused nappies on the floor by the coffee table. He picked one up and noticed the torn tag. Every single nappy in the pile was in the same condition. Before he could work out what had happened Mary pulled him into the kitchen, her shoulders shaking with silent laughter.

“I think Sherlock had a few problems with the nappies.” she whispered to her husband.

“Yeah, kinda worked that one out.” replied John, still at a loss to explain the source of Mary’s glee.

“Mina’s nappy is gaffer taped on. He must have ripped the tags off all the nappies, so he’s used gaffer tape to hold her nappy on.”

John covered his mouth in an attempt to hold back his giggles.

“Sherlock Holmes defeated by nappies! I can’t wait to hear his excuses on this one!”

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on a real life event. Back when my son was a baby, we once came home to a scene very similar to this one. My Mother, who was not overly familiar with disposable nappies, suffered the same problems that Sherlock faced. She did use gaffer tape to secure the nappy in place of the tags she'd managed to tear off. Honestly. Her reasoning gave me the title for this fic. She claimed the nappies were not fit for purpose.


End file.
